The Importance of Being The Mother of the Groom
Congratulations! Your son has found the girl of his dreams, and soon you will be adding mother-in-law to your resume. But, the mother of the groom is often at a loss as to what exactly her role will be in the marriage of her son. While you may not be as busy as the mother of the bride, the few things that are required of you are just as important and will be extremely helpful to your son's future bride.
1.) If you do not know the bride's parents, the first order of business is to formally introduce you and your husband to them. Whether that is by making a simple phone call to the bride's mother or inviting the bride's parents to an informal dinner either at a restaurant or at your home. If the bride's family lives far away, a nice letter of introduction along with a picture of your family is a great way to reach out to the bride's parents.
2.) You should promptly provide the bride with an accurate guest list for your side of the family. Be sure to include addresses, as well as the names of everyone in each family that is to be invited. You could even go as far as to print the names and addresses up on a sheet of labels to assist her when she begins to address her invitations.
3.) The bride's mother should be the first one to select her dress, and then you should get in touch with her to make sure that you select one that is of a complimentary couple. The length of your gown should match the length of the bride's mother's gown. If she wears long, you should wear long. If she goes short, then so should you. The color of your dress should not match the bridesmaids' dresses or the color of the mother of the bride's dress, but it should definitely compliment both colors. You could even go as far as to invite the bride to go dress shopping with you. This could be a great bonding experience for you and it will help you choose a gown that the bride would like to see you in.
4.) Hotel reservations for the groom's out of town guests are the responsibility of the mother of the groom. You could coordinate hotels with the mother of bride, and maybe you will both get a better deal for each of your guests because you are reserving so many rooms.
5.) It is the responsibility of the groom's family to host and pay for the rehearsal dinner. This could be as simple as a backyard barbeque or a nice, formal sit-down dinner. Everyone who is in the ceremony is invited to the rehearsal dinner, and it is appropriate etiquette to invite the spouse or significant other of those participating, as well as the parents of the children that are in the wedding.
6.) Your arrival prior to the wedding is dictated by when you and your family are scheduled for photographs. If you are taking family photographs before, you should arrive at least thirty minutes prior to when you are scheduled to be there, just in case the photographer is ready for you early. If you won't be taking pictures until after, then you should arrive no later than an hour before the ceremony is set to begin.
7.) You should participate in the ceremony however your son and his bride have requested you too, Whether that be to light the mother's candles with the bride's mother or to be escorted to your seat by your son as he prepares to take his place at the front.
8.) Be prepared to participate in the receiving line as your guests are leaving the church or entering the reception.
As always you should be prepared to help your son and his fiancée with any wedding preparations they seek your help with. You should take every task you are given seriously and do your best to do it exactly how they've asked you to do. The best help you can give them is just to be supportive and to be a listening ear whenever they need you to be. If they need your advice or help they will ask for it, so try not to be overbearing or push your ideas and opinions on them. Remember this is their special day, and your job is to help it be as special as possible with or without your opinions.
